Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'm going to quit reading the newspaper

Want to guess what I read the other day?

No......not the Cox/Arquette separation drama.....although you have to admit that was some pretty juicy stuff. Seriously David, do you really think you can tell Howard Stern and all of his listeners that you still love your wife and you really hope to get back together with her in the same breath that you admit that you slept with another woman in the very short time that you have been separated? I mean really dude, maybe just maybe the separation was to see if you two kids could work out your differences and if one of you could GROW THE HELL UP and start acting your age. I know that I am not Courtney, but I am not thinking that telling the world that you have had one "conquest" in the two months you have been living apart from you wife is really the way to show her that you are past the age when your brain still resides in your pants.

It also wasn't the story of the amazing rescue of the Chilean miners and the heartwarming picture of the rescued man being greeted with a big giant hug from his MISTRESS while his wife decided to wait out the rescue at home. Something tells me she wasn't exactly thrilled that the government found a way to beat their Christmas timeline....she thought she had way more time to clean out all of their joint accounts and pack up the house.

No, the story I read was not as pleasant as any of these.

It was that the amazing people who track and predict earthquakes have now stated that "the big one" is probably going to hit California "sooner rather than later"......and it will probably be "even more catastrophic and wide spread" than earlier thought. Well, thank you Debbie Downer for that update. I am always a worst case scenario type of girl...I want to know what the best situation could be and what the worst situation could be in almost every aspect of my life so that I can plan accordingly. I don't want to be the one who runs out of toilet paper when the aliens land on earth and we are all too afraid to leave our houses to go to the grocery store. Nor do I want to be the one who has a hamper full of dirty laundry when someone calls to tell me that I have won an all expense paid trip to Greece but only if I can get to the airport in exactly 20 minutes. But how in the hell do you prepare for an earthquake of such epic proportions that no one can even begin to imagine the toll it will take?? Really, what do I stock up on? Water? Antibacterial? Caulk?

1 comment:

  1. really you need to stop with this....where there is nice weather there is also a price to be paid:) Sorry dude!! The good news is that maybe after the "big one" you will be oceanfront instead of inland....that would make your property value SOAR!!!

    You know I am only kidding, and I think they mean instead of 250 years from now it will happen in 200 years, you will be dust already and I think you have nothing to worry about other than your great, great, great, great, great grandchildren!!!