Friday, January 29, 2010

5 months? That's nothing in the trash world!

One of the things that I have had to get used to since we moved here is the crazy way trash is picked up. Where we lived in Texas, you could have as many trash cans and recycling bins as you wanted and the lovely sanitation department would swing by your house like clockwork twice a week to take it all away. Big items??? No problem....just set them next to your trash cans and they would magically disappear. The old vacuum that wouldn't suck anymore??? The box that the new sucking vacuum came in??? No problem, just stick 'em out there and they were gone by 5pm.

Welllllllllll, things don't quite work like that here. We are assigned three trash cans, one for trash, one for recyclables and one for yard stuff (leaves, tree branches and stuff like that), and if your trash doesn't fit in those cans, well then it just isn't going to be leaving your house. On top of that, we only have ONE trash day a week. Yes, even the week of Christmas when you have all that wrapping paper, all those boxes and all those turkey bones that you just can not stand to smell for one. more. freakin'. second.

I am trying to learn to be a cooperative Californian, but what in the world do people do when they move here and they have a house full of boxes, packing paper and bubble wrap??

Well, here is what we did. We piled the boxes in our back yard and every week we would put as many as could fit in the recycling can and then we would roll it out to the curb on Wednesday like all of the other compliant residents of this fine state.

........and, this went on for precisely 5 months!

I am happy and so proud to announce that as of this Wednesday we are officially done with our pile of boxes!!!!! After 5 ridiculous months of having to try to fold a wardrobe box into an origami swan, we have finally succeeded in getting rid of all of them.

Please, try not to be jealous of my life!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Housewives?? I think not.

Clearly because I live in the OC now I am having even more fun watching 'The Real Housewives of the OC" than I was before. I always loved the show, but now I am kind of obsessed with it and I love seeing the places that they go and recognizing some of the restaurants or nail salons and whatnot..........but OMG these woman are CrAzY!!!

Who in their right mind would let their day to day life be filmed and then honestly believe that we are all wishing our lives where like theirs???? I may love watching the show, but mostly because watching someone else's train wreck of a life makes my boring life feel really, Reeaaaaaally good.

Please tell me that you caught it last week when Alexis went to the races with Gretchen. That entire scene at the table had me thanking my lucky stars for the man I am married to. If Alexis' husband said one more time how "OUR rule" is that we only judge by "OUR experiences" I was going to reach through the screen and slap his cocky, know it all, not very attractive self. If he is really all that (and he clearly thinks he is) why did he have to lie to his wife about Gretchen's friend coming on to him just so he could watch his wife have a lunatic moment?? Run Alexis, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Yes, he may be rich and he may love to buy you trinkets NOW, but any woman who feels that she has to edit herself around her husband, tell her husband how right he is when he is being a know it all, or who feels that she has to look perfect around her husband is only asking for trouble. Shouldn't your hubby be the one who ALWAYS has YOUR back, who thinks you look perfect in the morning when you haven't brushed your teeth or hair, or when you have baby throw up all over your pajamas.....and it's 3:00 in the afternoon???

Keep these shows coming BRAVO TV......I love 'em! And just so you "Housewives" know, I don't envy you, I don't want your life nor do I want to be you.....but I do find you crazy fun to watch!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!!!

After a very long and very eventful trip back home I am now unpacked and all caught up on laundry and hugging my kids. Now I just need this ridiculous rain to stop. We are living in California, we are not supposed to have DAYS of rain, thunderstorms or tornadoes. Tornadoes were on my list of things that I was okay leaving behind in way are they allowed to follow me out here.

On the positive side, our weatherman is getting a lot of airtime and I can't help but be cheered up every single time I see his name on my TV screen....Dallas Raines! What a great name for a meteorologist! Seriously, that is like a handyman being named Rusty Nail or a dentist named Dr Payne. Gotta love irony!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

But it worked for the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup people

Here is how I see this conversation going......

Boss, "We have to find something new, something that makes us stand out from the rest. Something that puts us on the map."

Employee, "Well, what do we have in Hawaii that people would flock to buy?"

Boss, "The tourists seem to really like Macadamia Nuts when they are here. They especially seem to like them when they are smothered in chocolate."

Employee, "Okay, so we should smother them in something even more unique than that."

Boss, "Yes, but we need locals to like them too. What is something unique that locals like that we can push on the rest of the world too?"

Employee, "Locals really love Spam"

Boss, "Brilliant!!!!"

Friday, January 15, 2010

Aloha Suckas!!!

Okay, so that was rude....sorry!! Aloha, and Mahalo for being my friend and reading my blog while I am enjoying the peace and quiet and serenity and amazing weather and beautiful smells and lovely trade winds and.....well, I guess I should stop, I wouldn't want to rub it in.

Our trip to the islands was not without drama. Our plane left the gate only to have to be turned around and returned to it because of a woman in the back of the plane who got very sick all over several seats and herself. They had to remove her and her bio hazardous mess from the plane before we could get back out on the runway.

Then, because it wasn't interesting enough yet. A woman sitting next to us was letting her massive intoxication show, much to the irritation of the man in the seat in front of her. The man sitting beside her however was quite happy with the situation because she was being very flirty with him and I am pretty sure he was thinking there was a chance he was going to get a little up in the air action. He was not at all happy when the man in front of him complained to the flight attendant about the obnoxious drunk lady. After some discussion with the airline people, it was decided that she would be allowed to fly IF she could keep to herself and IF she would not drink at all on the plane (darn those two glasses of cheap champagne she had already downed before we left the gate). After that the plane ride just lost some of it's fun factor.

So....after all the drama, we finally got out of sunny California and on our way to sunny Hawaii.

My very sweet husband walked off of the plane and walked straight over to a lei stand to buy me a lei. Remember all those shows you saw as a kid where people would arrive in Hawaii and Hula dancers would put a lei around their neck? Well, it doesn't happen that way.....unless you have a sweet husband who rushes over and buys one for you so that you get the full effect of smelling the amazing plumeria as you walk through the airport.

And no, of course the lei isn't shaped like a heart, but laying it on the desk like that made for a cuter picture...until I couldn't figure out how to turn it sideways so that you could see it without having to turn your head sideways. Sorry for the crick in your neck!

We were exhausted by the time we got to the hotel.....but to wake up to this......

well, it made all the vomit, the drunk fest and fear of seeing a public sex act worth it.


Monday, January 11, 2010

My love/hate relationship with my move to California

Okay, so here is the deal.....I really, really, really, REALLY didn't want to move to California. It's not that things were perfect in Texas, but that is where my family and friends's where my kids all went to kindergarten, it's where my 14 year old was born, where I brought my daughter home from China, where my two oldest graduated from high school, where I graduated from high school, where I was married. It was full of memories....good and bad, but all important memories. I was content there....I was good.

So of course we would move!

I really didn't want to move at all, but to have to move to California was almost comical. My mental list of comparisons went something like this....

The house size in my price range in the Texas town we lived in

The house size in my price range in California

That is such a bummer!

Then I started thinking.....hmmmmm,
the scenery in Texas

vs. the scenery in California that's one for California

Then you have the weather which is comical to even bring up since we all know how much nicer the weather is in California. However, you do have the freakish weather phenomenons that can't be overlooked........

The Texas Tornado vs The California Earthquake

Neither are really the way I am hoping to meet my maker.

I will admit that I don't hate it here as much as I thought I would. I don't love it....but I am learning to appreciate it's good points.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get on with selling everything I own so that I can fit in my new version of "home sweet home".

Saturday, January 9, 2010

omg...I have a blog

Can I just tell you that I would have never thought that I would be a "blogger" and that if it wasn't for the fact that my daughter designed what I consider to be a really cute blog for me, I would never have done this.
That being I am. All two of you that will be reading my blog will get to enjoy the awesome job she did for me.