Thursday, April 29, 2010

I will legally drive you crazy!

First off I am going to need everyone to keep this on the down low because I was not supposed to wait this long to do this. I have now lived in California for about 9 months while refusing to give up my Texas driver's license because it was kind of my last bit of hope that I could still call Texas my home. The state of California feels like I should have been willing to make the switcharoo to a California license within five days of moving, yeah....I didn't quite make that cut off.

So, after surviving my first earthquake (barely) and after living here through all the seasons (Fall, Fall, Spring and Oh My Freaking God the weather here is amazing) I decided that it was time to become legal.

I was a bit freaked about the whole thing. I mean let's get real here, I haven't taken a written driving test since my 16th birthday and that was a few years ago...and by a few, I mean that not even the elder George Bush was president yet.

To make matters worse, my husband had taken his test months ago and had passed with flying colors and my 19 year old daughter was going to be taking her test at the same time as me. All I kept thinking was that she was going to have to drive me home after the nice DMV people stripped me of my Texas license and told me that I was a failure who shouldn't be getting anywhere near the steering wheel of a car.

So.....I took a few practice tests, spent the night having nightmares and then woke up and figured that there was really no need to worry about my hair or my outfit since the picture that was going to be taken of me would only be used in future DMV training classes with the word "FAILURE" stamped across it.

And then I took the test and waited and waited and waited until they called my name and showed me this.....

Yeah, that's right people......I got a 100 on my test. Take that you scrawny 16 year old boy who was taking your test with all the confidence of a.....well, of a 16 year old boy! Take that old man who failed the test the first TWO times you took it therefore convincing me that I was certainly going to fail mine too. Take that woman who was taking so damn long to take your test that you had me freaking out that it must be written in some wierd foriegn language. Take that my dear husband and my precious 19 year old, both of whom I schooled on this test.

Please people, don't crowd around asking for my autograph, it's just embarrassing. Do however take solice in knowing that the road is a safer place if I am on it!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Dancing With the (people who desperately wish they were) Stars

I can't say that I enjoy 'Dancing With the Stars' which is kind of funny because I love other dance shows. There is just something about this show that I don't really care for.....I have tried to like it, and occasionally I will watch it and cheer for some old nostalgic actor or singer, but overall I'm not a fan.

That being said, I do watch other tv and therefore I hear all about DWTS on a daily basis. Which brings me to today's rant......Kate Gosselin.

Okay, let's review here--she had a reality tv show with her husband and her 8 kids, she came off as a mean, overbearing, bossy, know it all crab. Her husband became a total and complete freak of nature who thought that it was okay to date other people while still married. To continue his reign of craziness he decided he was 19 again, started dressing like an idiot and began dating girls at his emotional age instead of his real age. All of a sudden, we all felt sorry for Kate and we forgave her and pretty much forgot about what a loon she really was.

Then she goes and puts herself on Dancing With the Stars.

Not a great move Kate because now we are bossy, you think you are always right, you don't even try to speak to people nicely, you like to make it seem like you are much more important, busy and popular than you really are, you act like a diva only you really don't have a reason to be one and not that it matters in the rest of your life have no rhythm. I have no problem with the fact that you need to earn a living to support your kids but please, when you have the sympathy of the world on your side, do not put yourself in the position of reminding everyone what a bossy mcboster you really are. Please I am begging you, find a way to soften your image again because I can not stand the thought of this man becoming the good guy in this divorce.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Okay, so it happened.....what I have been dreading since the day I moved here. An earthquake! For those of you not familiar with the feeling of an earthquake....THE FREAKING EARTH MOVED!!!!!
It was crazy! We were outside at an Easter picnic and all of a sudden the table started moving. I looked around at the people sitting with me and it didn't seem like any of them were the type that would grab the table and shake it just for the sake of annoying the rest of us, but I just kind of pulled my arms off of the table so that the ridiculous moving would stop.....only it didn't. Which is when I finally realized that it wasn't the table that was moving, it was THE EARTH!!!!

Have I made myself clear here people.....the ground that we walk on, the ground that is supposed to be stable....the ground that when you get off of a boat you kiss it and thank mother nature for making something that is solid and forever there and stable for you.....only it isn't because apparently it can just up and move whenever it feels like it.

So I spent the next few days in kind of an earthquake hangover.....trying to figure out how I really felt about it and wondering why in the world the earth would betray us this way. I got my answer a few days later when my husband and I were in Vegas for the night. There, in the middle of all of the marquees showing half dressed girls and advertising topless shows was a big ol' sign for this............

Nooooooooo, Donny and aren't supposed to be in Vegas!!! You are a Branson kind of show. We don't want to see any pelvic thrusts from Donny, we don't want to see Marie in skimpy clothes. Go back to familyville Donny and Marie please before mother nature sees this
and shakes the heck out of us again!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Hey Governor Schwarzenegger, I can save California

I read in the paper this morning that there are more Medical Marijuana dispensaries in Los Angeles than there are Starbucks, which got me thinking....

I bet we could cure some of our budget problems with the addition of one simple little tax.

The 'Snack Tax'

You are welcome Gov!

Friday, April 2, 2010

absent blogger

Sorry I haven't posted since I went 'cougaring with my bestie'.....I've been a little busy enjoying the view of

and this...