Friday, September 3, 2010

The mother ship has landed

There was quite a stir the other day when a "mega-yacht" anchored in San Diego. People said it looked a bit like a 'sci-fi submarine' or an 'alien watercraft'.....which is funny because I didn't even realize that we knew what alien watercraft looked like. Now that I know I feel much safer realizing that if I am ever at the beach and a ship looking like this one comes near me I can cause a total and complete panic among the other beach goers by screaming "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES PEOPLE.....THIS IS NOT A DRILL....THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED!!!!" and all the families who were enjoying their day at the beach will hug me, thank me and treat me as their hero for saving their souls from being sucked from their bodies and replaced with the soul of an alien who wants to live among humans and learn our secrets. You know, like what does McDonalds put in their fryer to make their french fries better than Burger Kings....or why do we humans feel that we have to talk SO much louder on our cell phones than on any other phone in the world.
.............but I digress....

People were all abuzz about the fact that this yacht was owned by a 38 year old Russian billionaire and that it had a freaking 2,583 sq ft master suite with a $40,000 faucet and a $60,000 stair banister and a crew of 35 who were all wearing matching outfits that had been specifically designed in keeping with the modern design of the vessel. But the part that I kept focusing on was the fact that the master suite is wrapped in bullet proof glass and has a fingerprint scanner at the door.
Now Mr. Billionaire dude, I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt that you made your billions doing something perfectly legal and for the good of helpless children and animals and that you are just taking precautions against those nasty Somalian pirates......but I have an inkling that there is something sinister in your Russian source of income when you have to surround yourself in bullet proof glass. I'm just saying, it looks bad.

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